secrets;♥

Friday, November 24, 2006♥

yesterdae finally went chalet for de first time wif my frens.. hahas.. coz in de past cannot go de.. parents dun allow ma.. so excited.. aft work quickly rush hm bath and change le.. den luckily dad send me to downtown east, if not i would hav to travel all de way dere den will be tired and sleepy liao.. so my dad lompang mavis oso.. can't find where her hse is de.. so confusing.. all de streets look de same and quite dangerous lor.. a lot of those foreign workers, indians all tt.. be careful hor mavis.. dun always go hm so late le la.. hahas.. finally reach de chalet le.. den went mac to buy food first coz i haven had dinner yet.. my stomach was like growling so loudly.. hahas.. den meet susu and hidaya.. coz we dunno where de chalet was.. so long nvr see them le.. hahas... still de same old character.. haha..hidaya was like saying i juz came back frm malaysia or where coz i was carrying quite a lot of tinks ma.. i was carrying my bag, jacket, wallet, drink and food.. a lot meh.. hahas.. den waited for xinyi b4 going to de chalet rm.. beth, jas, eileen, huixian, kelly, sean, hanjin, merelda and their bf all dere.. played poker cards.. hahas.. de funny one was when we each chose one card and sticked it on de forehead.. den we muz not end up wif de smallest or biggest card.. hahas.. so funny la.. mavis de cannot stick.. we use our forehead oil.. guess she doesn't have oil on her face de.. tts gd ma.. hahas.. den played heart attack for a while oso.. they all kp screaming la.. hahas.. den played muderer for very long.. beth was de narrator.. admit she's quite gd at narrating.. hahas.. made me realli feel tt i was in tt situation.. i always ended up wif de medic or detective de.. poor hanjin was always de civilian..hahas.. and she was grumbling bout tt.. and she was always de first one being killed.. damn funny la.. but realli very fun and exciting.. hahas.. aft tt we went for a night walk till 5 plus den went back to de rm.. we walked around den ended up in cheers buying stuff coz susu had a $20 voucher.. thanks susu for de drink.. sat down at somewhere downstairs and was chatting a bit.. den de idiotic lizard la.. fall onto de chair where i and mavis was sitting.. eew.. eileen told us de.. den i was like eew.. coz i realli very scared of all these tinks de.. so we went back to de rm lor.. den all of them were slping le.. so we sat down in de dark and talked a bit.. guess everyone was tired le so everyone slept.. till i woke up at 6 plus den decided to go hm and slp instead.. since dere was still time and my clothes haven dry yet.. though it was a short period of time wif them, i still enjoyed it.. 0623C rox.. hahas.. had so much fun laughing and crapping.. aft tt went work liao.. so tired.. but now not le.. hahas..

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replies to taggies..
i realli don't understand why u all suddenly talked bout dis.. i mean its all of a sudden.. i was shocked to see u all like lecturing me in my tagboard..i was so hurt and sad at tt point of time.. i realli tried to organize outings oso de lor.. u ask karen la.. i asked her whether she was free first not coz she had smthg on tt whole wk.. so when she said she was not free den i said okie lor nvr mind.. next time c when u all can den cum out again lor.. i mean its not as if i didn't try.. but u all noe i'm not like u all always can go out de.. u all should noe me aft all these yrs wad.. i hav to always go hm and look aft my sis.. if not always got family probs de.. so can't go out often.. den now u all say i always nvr turn up for de gatherings? i did, but not as often coz i couldn't make it most of de time, and wif valid reasons, like coz i'm working and family stuff.. tt time when we were supposed to meet for breakfast i didn't go.. coz i had no money and it was my first day of work so i did not wan to be late or whatever.. coz i noe if de time will always be dragged.. and since i had no money i had to take frm my parents which i realli dun wan to.. coz i dun wan to increase their burden lor.. i dun wan to kp taking money frm them.. and if i went i could not eat and i would hav to sit down dere and watched all of u eat, which i guess most of u all oso dun like tt feeling de.. and i did sae to karen tt i wan slp more co i would be working everyday frm tt day onwards, and still had to go sch earli den go straight to work.. but u all assumed tt i gave de reason tt i wan to slp more..but to u all, are these reasons crap and excuses? and jas, i did admit tt i was at fault.. i didn't sae tt i should not be blamed for anytink.. i said tt i am oso at fault coz i didn't take de initiative to contact u all.. i didn't shift de blame to u all lor.. realli wad.. i do feel left out and extra most of de times.. like dere was one time when u all asked me to meet.. i forgot wad i had on coz i said i couldn't go coz of some reasons.. den u all said tt at lot 1 ma.. so very fast de.. go chat for a while.. so i went.. and u all juz showed me de cake tt u all had bought for karenand had decorated it urselves & asked me whether it was nice.. .. and her birthday was over le.. i mean at tt time i was tinking am i transparent.. why did u all ask me to go see de cake tt u all had bought specially for karen only.. i mean anyone would have been hurt oso rite.. i mean its okie if u bought de cake for her but u all asked me to meet u all juz to look at de cake ar..and of course i treasure de friendship.. its 4 yrs plus lehx.. i nvr had frens for so long a period of time.. tts why i tink tt u all will be dere no matter wad.. so even if we dun contact we can still get along.. guess i'm wrong.. hais.. i dunno how to improve our friendship.. i am at a loss as to wad to do.. dis is realli wad i tink frm de bottom of my heart.. and i realli didn't tink tt our friendship was a prob at all.. till carol suddenly tagged me all of a sudden.. den everytink tt happened flowed through my mind.. and ru, tt day when we went kbox realli nothing happen.. coz i was juz tired.. its other small incidents accumulated de.. anyway, thanks tze, u are de onli one who didn't realli scold me.. hais.. i tink we should all cool down now.. and ren, i realli tink tt i am nt important at all.. i am juz a piece of junk tt is useless.. u tink i realli always purposely dun go those outings de meh.. its coz i got a lot of probs hav to settle first de lo.. u all should noe if i wan to go out i hav to plan realli early or someties last min coz everytime smthg will crop up.. like jas b'dae i can't even stay wif u all for long.. i had to rush hm.. don't u realise its always me who had to encounter dis kind of probs.. i oso dun wan de lor.. vonne, gatherings always made me troubled but look forward to at de same time de.. coz i hav to ask my parents can go not den hav to take money frm them.. and den still ahv to tink who will look aft my sis all tt.. b4 i can go peacefully to de outings.. its always me who affect all of ur mood.. i rather dun go den u i wun affect u all at all.. tts why i tink dis way.. hais.. i realli dunno wad to do and sae.. coz i noe its all my fault now rite.. i am so confused as to wad to do.. someone juz tell me wad to do and i will do as u sae..

written, 10:50 PM.