met mavis at 7.30 at woodlands..i am LATE again.. bad habit of mine.. we actually planned to go sch to run and practice for our upcoming napfa.. but den dunno why i saw a lot of innovians.. so didn't feel like going anymore.. coz i deliberately chose a sat and hopefully dere wun be a lot of ppl in sch so i can practice wif ease..but who noes la.. so we decided to study instead..went mac to eat breakfast and den i read the adam khoo's book..coz mavis brought it.. tot it was juz another boring book.. but it was not.. found it so interesting..he seems to be able to read my mind..everytink he saes fits and relates to me well.. so i decided to read on.. hopefully i would gain smthg frm dis book.. went woodlands library at 9 plus and guess wad..omg..i was shocked to see that there was a huge throng queueing up outside the library.. ya rite..typical singaporeans.. hahas.. the barrier was still halfway opened when everyone started rushing inside juz to get a seat.. hahas.. we went to the children's section.. coz almost all seats were taken.. did my econs hmwk.. and nthg else.. omg..i still hav a gp essay,lit pc,maths and chem block tests corrections plus my own self revision.. give me MORE time pls..

met up wif mummy and sis for lunch at LJS.. bought for bro oso.. hm sweet hm!

went running in sch yest.. my stamina realli cannot make it..if i continue like tt, sure fali my napfa.. plus the broad jump which i realli cannot jump and the incline oso.. omg.. pe is scary also.. got back maths and i flunked again..i knew it la.. mr yee asked me to work harder.. its not i dun wan to.. juz dunno why i can't.. damn depressed.. got back GP oso.. hais.. no nd to sae u all oso noe le.. realli dunno wad i hav to do b4 i can score for at least one sub.. i'm already trying my best to study hard..but i dun see any encouraging results.. its realli demoralising to see the red marks..

but now i'm fine wif my family again! so nice to patch up wif them.. i realli dun like the feeling of a cold war.. mummy and daddy bought supper for me.. make me feel guilty for treating them badly.. and they said smthg tt make me wanna cry.. and i cried.. coz they said its a matter of time b4 they die..and if they do, i muz look after my little sis.. coz i'm the eldest.. and the house will be left for my bro.. i kp telling them not to spout nonsense.. i was onli holding back my tears.. and i went toilet to cry, afraid tt they will noe.. i dun wan them to worry.. and i'm seriously damn afraid to lose anyone close to me..

met up wif kgang! ate dinner plus crapped a lot..i realli enjoyed it..quite long since we catch up wif each other le.. missed all of them..esp carol! nvr seen her for ages.. she leaving for taiwan tml..if i'm not wrong.. miss her loads.. we decided to meet again sometime nxt wk.. dun forget our pact to eat softshell crab rice okay, jas..

sch was actually okie todae de.. but you noe wad? i got caught for my skirt by tt teacher again! she realli spoiled EVERYTINK..like wad shit lor.. she kp picking on me lehx..every now and then she muz catch me.. den somemore draw on my skirt, ask me to go and BUY one and den see her tml.. excuse me, am i so free and rich to juz go and look for u to pass u MY skirt and i hav to buy a new one juz because u tink my skirt is short? its such a waste of money lor.. 8 more months and i'm out of the sch and u are now ORDERING me to buy one.. pls lor.. its so unfair.. cross my fingers tt u will forget me, my name and stuff.. dun ever bother me again! nvr ever saw a more unreasonable teacher like her b4, & she is not even part of the discipline committee..wad right does she hav to catch me.. i am so so so angry and pissed..

other den tt incident, i tot de lessons were fine todae.. gp i was a little sleepy though.. spend my econs lecture fuming at tt irritating teacher.. nvr paid attention.. all her fault! chem and econs tutorial was funny.. lit was esp interesting todae.. dere's gonna be a lit UK trip!!! so excited.. its in dec and max we must fork out $3000.. so ex! but still, i 'm hoping tt i can go.. 10 days of visiting the museums, shakespeare and jane austen's birthplace, watching plays and stuff.. its realli going to be fun! aft lit, ms lin bought a cake for all the march and april babies..(ya i noe its quite earli to celebrate our birthdaes which is like one month later) but we realli appreciate it though.. so nice of her to celebrate our birthdays..teachers rarely do so.. and she even bought the cake using her own money..tts like so SWEET of her.. sang the birthdae song one by one.. so they sang six times.. lolx.. syhair, hafizah, yvonne,winnie,bernice and me! the cake was quite nice.. i noe its called chocolate cravings!!

stayed in sch for a while to study while waiting for mavis.. she attended the pacer talk.. heard frm shiming tt onli 3% of the cohort passed econs.. tts like out of 100, onli 3 passes.. hais..i'm one of the 97%..


anw, heard tt dere's a FLASHER who flashed himself to two of our sch gurls..eew tts like disgusting.. hope they dun get traumatized.. but if its me, i'll surely laugh and then run away while screaming.. hahas.. we were like all discussing the issue..some sae they will kick his ~.. which i will too..but if i dare to..coz tt guy may suddenly burst into anger and starts to harm me.. rather be safe den sorry.. =) gurls LOOKOUT!

got back my chem results.. realli realli bad.. hais.. can't figure out was it coz of stupidness or lack of effort.. must be both la.. crossing my fingers fer the other subjects too.. so i wasn't realli keen on lessons todae.. nvr paid attention.. WAKE UP JIELIN! u are only left wif 8 more months and still slacking and idling away.. u are gonna flunk everytink le la.. anw, i didn't slp during gp lesson juz now..coz of the interesting discussion.. laughing all the way.. hahas.. decided not to go hm earli.. coz i quarreled wif my WHOLE family.. fine la.. everytink i'm in the wrong.. eldest=all responsibilities? i dun tink so.. so stop pushing everytink to me.. planning to go woodlands library to study.. hopefully i can do it..

i was practically trying to avoid sch todae.. coz i had a realli bad tummyache last night tt i was tossing & turning around in my bed.. so decided to skip sch if it persist..but in the morn it was fine.. so i was FORCED to go to sch.. hais.. can't believe tt i'm like a pri 1 kid who's pestering mummy not to go to sch.. seriously i feel so childish.. but i realli feel tt sch sux to the core.. i HATE SCH!! i dunno why and i dun wan to noe why.. maybe i am so restrained by doing the same routine again and again everydae.. i'm sick of being bounded by sch.. i wan my FREEDOM back! i wan to be the young girl i was 10 yrs ago.. i want to go to my mum's office and wait and loiter around b4 i go to sch.. i wan my mummy to bring me to sch.. and i wan to play wif my innocent frens in the past.. i miss everytink in the past.. i juz dun wanna grow up!

worrying for block tests results at the same time.. =(


anyway, eeling brought us some cupcakes she made personally b4 going for her camp.. thanks! nice!

tell me tell me ppl.. why am i so unlucky? i see ppl frm their class everywhere i go.. even weekends i am not let off.. and so i saw them again at somerset todae.. though i nvr see him but i saw his GOOD frens.. those best frens of his who agree wif his weird theory of me making him sick..wad de hell..can't believe it.. not tt i hate their class.. it was them who started it in the first place..i dun tink i'm at fault.. so if you tink i am a pest, pls scram when u see me lor.. though it realli spoils my mood and kills my appetite, i still wun be able to avoid you in sch ( and i don't wan to).. juz continue to hate me lor.. i am fine wif it..

nvr mind..forget bout him for now.. met mavis to study at woodlands library in the morn.. stoning the whole time.. hais..didn't do anytink.. gonna start mugging tml.. ate breakfast at ya kun and lunch at yoshi.. met wif kelly den went kbox to look for JB, xinyi and huixian.. sang a lot a lot of songs.. so FUN! but freezing cold dere.. most funniest part was when huixian sang the hokkien song.. " if i had a million dollars" dunno by who..damn funny la.. hahas..but they chased us out aft 3 hrs lor.. and we paid $17 plus lor.. so not worth it.. =( went heeren and cine aft tt.. oh and we saw MS CHEONG.. so suprised..haahs..we were riding on the escalator when suddenly it stopped.. suddenly jerked in front.. whoo scary la.. took neos aft tt.. hahas.. damn funny.. and the two gals attitude prob la.. JB onli asked him a qn and she so 'bu shuang'..
like we offend her.. stroll around den went to eat.. mavis and me decided not to eat..coz no money plus can't go back too late.. so we went cck.. thanks for acc me, mavis.. ate korean ramen.. home sweet home..

shld hav gone vivo wif jas,carol, karen and vonne.. regreted going somerset..

CONGRATS to eLaine and JB for entering the top 80 in campus superstar! jiayou!!

todae was the first dae of lesson aft the one wk of hols and block tests.. actually i quite like exam periods though, coz of the short time in school plus more free time.. too bad everytink ended so fast.. guess i'm now looking forward to the JUNE HOLS! 2 more months to endure!

chem was hell.. couldn't understand what the skill A wants.. i was so confused and blur all the way.. guess i hav to practise more of it and it will be fine, i hope.. econs lesson crap again.. funny conversation tt took place in the class..btw kelly and mr how:

kelly: mr how, erm.could u flash . . . (haven completed her sentence)
mr how: no no!! of course not..(using his hands to cover his body)
class: howling wif laughter
kelly: could u flash the lecture notes on the screen?

FUNNY? okay, at least it IS funny to me..

JASMINE bought doughnuts for the whole class! so nice of her.. haahs. thanks!

Mr Yee gave us a lot of breaks during maths..guess he knew we were tired.. and he suggested keeping a lookout for us in case any teacher sees.. haahs..he is damn funny.. okay, he's the best teacher i've ever met.. realli the BEST.. as in character and the way he treats us.. oh ya he has a best fren too.. the teacher who's teaching nxt door.. they are realli GOOD frens lor.. i will always laugh when i see them tgt.. so comical and innocent..=)

janice got back her chem block test.. she got a B.. tts like very good for me.. i am onli hoping for a pass and it seems so diff la.. i was running thru her ans and realized i am gonna flunk it.. i am dead.. and den mr how had to add oil to the fire by saying i hav to work harder? tts like hinting tt i got realli bad for my econs block test.. but he denied strongly.. but still i feel tt way.. makes me feel tt i am so stupid and idiotic .. DEPRESSED ..

HAPPY HAPPY!!
went bugis wif my sis todae!! first dae of hol aft my hectic block test.. hahas.. we went bpp again.. my sis wanted to return her work uniform back.. lucky i nvr saw him.. will die if i see him. hmph.. took 960 to bugis..walked around and i bought a top! ate lunch in kfc.. home sweet home.


i dreamt of my ah gong ytd.. everytink seemed so real.. jux like a normal sat morning where we would always gather.. some of the relatives were around, not all though.. he was sitting at the familiar round table reading his newspapers.. i was sitting at the sofa and then he called one of us to pour him smthg to drink.. i forgot wad happened aft tt.. when i woke up, i could onli rmb dis part.. i wonder was he trying to tell me smthg?

i juz realised tt bus 188 actually stops directly in front of NUS.. and its near too.. my ideal university!! provided tt my results are good enuff to enrol into NUS, if not i can onli look at the lovely campus frm outside and wallow in sorrow. pathetic.

OMG FINALLY MY BLOCK TEST IS OVER!
i wanted to scream out loud when i finished my last chem paper! but of course i restrained myself. glee, i'm so glad tt i completed all my exams in juz two days and spending like 10 hrs plus plus sitting in the hall scribbling like mad.. okay, although i noe deep inside tt i'm gonna flunk all my subjects very badly, but still i am HAPPY.. because of the two days holiday fer me onli..hahas..the rest are still mugging.. yeah..okay, seems like i'm very bad to be celebrating here while they are mugging.. but mainly because all my past exams i was always the one taking the last paper on the last day while everyone got to play.. now its my turn.. its fair indeed! *beams

so todae i saw him again.. hais..realli spoil my mood la..why did he hav to make me a hate target when i nvr even offend him? u got nthg better to do is it.. kp saying i kp appearing in front of you.. when todae dunno y u sat beside our table.. there are so many tables around..why did you hav to choose tt specific table? nvr mind if u decide to sit dere lehx..the prob is later u would either blog saying tt i kp appearing in front of you or tell your frens bout it..lolx.. when u see me, can't you go away and sit somewhere further since you hate me? weird lor.. and i BLOODY HELL saw you in causeway.. i got nthg to sae too.. tts wad you say in ur blog oso.. so why did u appear before me in causeway ? go away pls!!!

went RP,NP,SP yesterdae wif my sis..
hope de appeal would be successful..but like wad de gal said:chances are quite slim..
so jux hav to be more optimistic.. if not hav to look fer other options..
actually planned to study wif mavis..but coz i had to acc my sis to the polytechnics..
and coz of my bro's stuff, too late for mavis to meet me le..so cancelled..
night quarrelled wif dad, so went lot 1 mac to study.. asked my sis to acc me..
saw guangzu! so sad he seemed not to recognise me.. hahas..still as blur as ever..
studied till 11 plus.. home sweet home..

met karen at 8 todae to study at mac again..i'm sick of mac already!
late coz overslept.. i nvr felt bad to karen..since she was playing her gameboy while waiting for me..:p
ate the new bagel meal.. den studied till 11 plus..
left karen studying alone.. now i feel bad:(
met mum and sistas.. went ah ma hse to hav lunch..
aft tt went westmall to watch "JUST FOLLOW LAW".. ah ma tagged along too..
we bought large popcorn,2 large drinks,nachos,potato chips.. which was a lot okay.
could sae tt it was realli funny la..but sad at de same time..
coz they finally realise how kinship is impt and learned to cherish their loved ones..
but its too late for me..i hav lost two loved ones..
so i'm trying hard to cherish my one and onli ah ma now..
anw, went some gift shop coz my little sis wanna buy present fer her frens's b'dae party tml.
hahas..long since i attended a b'dae party..:p
aft tt went harvey norman to check out the mp3s..sis planning to buy one..
and guess wad?all de creative ones are sold out!
so we looked around and both of us liked the samsung black slim one!! $318 final offer.
she found it too ex..reconsidering..
saw aunt sally.. she still working dere.. chatted a bit.. she still remembered us!
went back to ah ma hse till night.. trying hard to spend more time wif her..:)


Failure is de road to success.. Is it?

you are ridiculous and stupid enuff.
why must you always listen to ur fren?
can't you reject when they asked you to steal?
now you injured someone's child..
if you're unlucky, they will lodge a complaint and we hav to compensate them.
why must you make mum so worried about you?
can't you pity her and start to be a good boy instead?
you skip lessons, smoke,steal,injured someone and fight..
what more hav you not done?
i'm begging you, pls change for the better and stop giving us trouble anymore.

I AM STILL SLACKING!!!

anw, went to sch fer chem lesson.. realised tt i am lacking behind a lot.. i jux can't seem to memorise all de reactions,reagents & conditions.. dead meat-

in a bad mood de whole dae.. morn was still fine.. reach sch 7 plus..actually planned to run but cancelled..tried broad jump..still cant make it..arghx.. did bout 7 pull-ups..which means i passed!! yeah! aft tt we started to revise fer block test.. i'm planning to study organic chem todae.. i mean finish my tys qns and read thru all de notes once more-which is like impossible? but i'm still gonna try.. aft chem went hm alone..yes,i'm pathetic.. not realli.. juz tt i wanna be alone..and no one could acc me too.. mavis waiting fer ~ and karen still had lessons.. so,yup i was tinking a lot while walking.. AND I SAW HIS ACCOMPLICE! tt guy's fren.. duh! i'm plain unlucky okay.. spoil my mood.. but if i saw him again, my hatred would explode alright..

i feel like screaming!!
AAAAAAARRRRRRRRgGGGGGGGGHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

witness a scary fight yest night..
went some coffeeshop to hav late supper wif family..
everytink was okie..till one woman was suddenly screaming so loudly at one guy dere..
i was shocked and blur.. wondering wad happened..
the woman was asking de guy to go back wif her.. de guy refused..
everyone was looking at them.. but de guy was oblivious.. started to beat up de woman fer creating a scene in front of his frens..
throwing chairs and banging her head on de wall..
she was screaming non-stop.. & finally i got de whole picture..
de guy abandoned his 15 yrs wife fer a 3 months younger woman..
both woman started fighting.. grabbed their hair,tore their tops.. bit each other..
omg.. de guy was still fending de woman instead of his wife..
even other ppl found it ridiculous and started calling de police..
de guy grabbed de other woman & wanted to leave.. outsiders tried to stop them..
but to no avail.. de wife followed.. wad happened next, no one knew..
i was scared stiff.. because of de violent scene..
police arrived too late.. everyone left..
felt so sorry and pathetic fer de wife.. de guy was heartless..
marriage seems so scary and vulnerable..

i dun wanna see him again..arghx..get out of my sight..

its fine if u hate me like hell.. but can u pls tell me directly? and wad's ur prob man.. i dun even noe u la..and u kp talking bout me in ur blog..wth.. u hav de right to hate me..but de prob is i nvr even offend u and u are pissed wif me? wad kind of idiotic logic is tt.. and i nvr purposely kp appearing in front of you..why can't u sae u kp appearing in front of me? why muz it be me.. u are so unreasonable.. as if BPP is urs, why can't i go dere? so can i sae i am oso sick and tired of seeing you everydae too? i did not plan de timetable so who noes i got de same pe time as you.. i dun tink i'm in de wrong.. juz by having de same lessons as you and making u sick so i shld disappear frm ur sight? i still hav to study de lor..u mean i hav to skip and pe juz for ur sake? so wad do you wan me to do? quit sch? juz becoz u dun like me? i'm so sorry i wun be able to do tt.. tts not typically me..its ur prob tt u dun like me.. but pls stop blaming me ..

i nd de one wk break to cool off.. juz hope tt i dun bump into u again..

fine. i screwed up my GP!! gonna flunk it again.. eyelid was twitching de whole dae, a sense of bad premonition..couldn't finish de paper in time, my ans were all crap and i couldn't understand de passage realli well.. & i spend a lot of time stoning.. JIE LIN!! its block test u noe.. still dare to take it lightly.. =( i juz wished for a pass.. but it seems like so faraway to me.. can't catch hold of it.. arghx.. gf, pls bless me.. anyway, its over, shld start mugging fer other sub.. NO SLACKING, NO TV, NO SHOPPING,NO COM for de nxt 10 daes..

one wk of mugging, two bad miserable days.. and i'm free for de rest of de wk..:)

Maths, Econs,Chem,Lit--

whoa..cute little children running around our sch earli in de morn.. so innocent they were.. considering i was like them yrs ago, i feel so old now..:( i prefer toddlers & babies though.. dun sae i'm a paedophile k.. hahas..hx said tt b4..i jux tink tt children are cute..shld switch to childhood edu instead.. i hate schooling!!

lurve mummy! bought my fav cupcakes! nice..

last lesson of GP wif her!! shld i sae i'm happy or worried? happy in a sense tt i wun be called "monster" and be scolded fer not giving an answer when she asks a qn.. she has those huge eyes & can stare at me coldly.. wonder was it tt i am stupid enuff to catch her attention or is she juz picking on me? she doesn't seem to ask other ppl to ans qns.. but every lesson she will bound to be calling my name everytime.. arghx.. but i'm worried in a sense tt i will not pay attention in GP lessons coz mr yip is juz too nice.. cum back soon MR YIP!

damn sleepy & tired todae.. guess Mr chu wun be lecturing us le.. wonder who's taking over?
dozing off in chem lesson.. had a short nap b4 econs.. mr how again entertained us..hahas.. his jokes nvr failed to make us laugh.. onli in jc tt i realise tt teachers are realli concerned fer students.. mr yee, mr how, ms goh,ms lin,mr yip.. all of them are SO nice to us.. forgot to mention tt its de first time i got valentine's gift frm teachers.. clips,candies and chocs.. sweet:x

still do not noe which route i shld take..at a loss :p

Two black birds sitting on my window still--i am bORED..

met up wif carol and karen.. coz i had to pass carol's bag (which i owe her bout 1 yr ago--so sorry!) to her.. she leaving fer Laos trip soon.. thurs.. can't go send her off coz we hav sch till very late.. 14 days u noe.. & she will oso leave for taiwan wif her family on my birthdae!! sad..

den decided to go study wif karen since i was at hm de whole while rotting..went mos fer lunch..okay, considered teatime for me.. coz i already had my lunch.. i am such a glutton! in de end i did 1 qn of chem & nothing else.. coz we were chatting most of de time.. i wanna go back to sec sch time.. i miss everytink back den.. jc life is too stressed.. if it was not de fact tt i did not noe wad course to take in poly, i wouldn't hav gone to jc.. but since i lurve children tt much, i should hav taken childhood education.. but mum says future would not be promising.. so i heed her advise.. went jc.. and den regretting it now.. no choice.. i hav to jiayou..dun give up JIELIN!

i lurve my family! how they gave me support in everytink i do.. esp my mummy.. she nvr realli stresses me up in my studies.. even if i fail, she still encourages me and tell me i can do it.. & so when i told her bout my chinese results, she was so happy and said:" wah..okie la.. give u $50 for de A u got..".. so i was stunned dere when she shoved me de $50.. i lurve mummy!! my daddy oso very gd to me.. always buy me lunch and dinner on weekends coz i lazy to buy it myself.. lurve my sistas too:) she seems more like de elder one.. always buying tinks for me or treating me.. so disgraceful..hahas.. she evens iron my sch clothes for me when i feel tired.. another cute little sis who kps sharing her tidbits wif me everydae..tt explains y she's overweight=) my bro onli helps to catch all de insects i feared in de toilet or my room.. hahas..no matter wad, i hope we will all remain like dis foreva..

i wish for all my loved ones to be safe and sound.. i can't bear to lose anyone anymore..

my little sis bought a blue piano.. which costs like $1000 plus.. though its quite cheap for a piano but i tink tts a lot.. omg..she is so blissful.. when i was young i onli had barbie dolls to play wif.. not fair=(

i admit i was slacking de whole day todae.. i totally HATE my lazy-ness!!

de list of tinks i hav to complete todae:
1) 3 Econs case studies(in pt form)
2) Chem ionic ws
3)Lit hmwkk-compare & contrast poems
4)revise for chem quiz
5) finish up intergration revision

how can i complete all dis by todae? impossible! arghx..someone help me pls!

went lot 1 wif mum & sistas.. lots of ppl dere.. saw carol and xiaotian..they buying stuff for laos trip.. sistas went arcade.. den forced me to take neoprint.. went shopping fer a while.. tt explains y i can't finish all my hmwk..& since i reach hm, i hav been online most of da time.. DBSK rox! i lurve jaejoong.. so i wasted whole lot of time watching their mvs.. :) quite worth it..

i realise tt i hav not been a gd fren.. i realli dunno wad's wrong wif us nowadays.. quarrelling coz of small matters.. & mainly because we are both stubborn & refuse to admit tt either of us is wrong.. but sometimes i kp rebuking u for everytink u sae is coz i feel tt it is not de way u imagined.. it is not because i wan to quarrel wif u.. our friendship is becoming so strained.. i dunno how to resolve it..

[troubled] i hate me,myself & JIELIN

SurpRISE!! i got A for my H1 chinese 'A' level results!! tot i was dreaming den beth pinched me.. so i realised it was true..mr yee la.. gave me mine last..den sae "whoa" so i was wondering i got very bad is it coz he so surprised..scare me to death.. realli didn't expect to get it..but thankfully, my grandfather blessed me..

went career fair at suntec..seems like an excursion wif class..hahas..quite boring.. coz i still hav no aim in life=no ambition= no dream= nothing..i juz went for de sake of going.. listened to some angmoh telling us bout psychology.. and i found it quite interesting.. for now, i am quite interested in forensic psychology.. so fun to predict wad de criminals are tinking in their complicated minds.. and if possible, i wanna be working wif children in future.. i love children!!! child psychology is fun! :)

loitered around at marina square.. first time i went dere.. pls dun sae i am sua ku..esp JB.. i live so faraway frm dere, tts y i nvr go.. its not sua ku okie.. hahas..actually 42B supposed to eat wif us but due to diff taste and preferences, we split up.. went carl's JR to eat.. huge burger! shared wif mavis.. she eat so little.. so i'm growing fatter & she's slimmer..omg, it shld be de other way round.. shared jumbo taco salad wif kel,tri,huixian,xinyi.. it cost $8.50 okie..damn ex! but nice.. crapped a lot.. went shopping aft tt.. wanna buy all de clothes frm topshop, zara & many many more.. shld start saving again.. so ex too:( but worth it.. i'm gonna buy it nxt sat when we go kbox-ing wif xinyi, mavis & JB! loved de cute little waterbottle.. gonna buy one soon too.. went hm bout 8 plus..

no mood to study!! arghx.. slacking again---