basically, New Yr is so much more diff dis time round.. de atmosphere, de ppl and de feeling is miles away diff frm de past.. in de past, i would always look forward to getting new clothes and stuff, as well as de delicious food and family gatherings.. but now, all i could look forward to was de 4 and a half days of slacking without going to sch.. tts all.. nothing else.. but i still enjoyed going to my ah ma hse.. my beloved ah ma still cooks delicious food for us and gave me a $50 hongbao which was quite a lot for me!! but other den tt, i did not realli hav a happy new yr.. coz of my ah gong(mother's side de).. went to visit him in hospital juz now.. his condition was getting frm bad to worse.. frm wad i've observed.. he got difficulty breathing..nd de oxygen mask to help.. and is always in a subconscious state.. and though he is in so much pain, he still nvr forget to give us hongbao.. went to visit him twice and i cried.. luckily todae i managed to hold out.. i realli dun wan him to worry anymore.. now, he's like having flashes of his past memories and den would occasionally dream of my late ah ma.. my mum said tt all these are actually premonitions of him leaving.. i seriously dun wan it to be true! i wan ah gong to recover.. its onli been one plus yr since ah ma left.. i dun wan to lose a loved one again.. i wan to do smthg for him but i can't do anytink.. i can onli pray for him.. we told a white lie to him.. he thought he struck lottery and was so happy.. but in reality, he didn't.. all of us assured him tt he would get de money.. i saw his contented face b4 he went back to slp.. sad sad.. hope everytink turns out okie..