so HAPPY! back frm carol's b'dae celebration !initially decided to meet at yew tee mrt platform at 11.but den when i reached dere, saw karen haven even changed and she said going back hm to bath and change first. den i was sorta shocked. coz jas and vonne were at mc and we were supposed to meet carol at cck den go jurong tgt. but i tot we would just meet and go jurong tgt. and no one told me time changed to 11.30. so i was earli and waited bout half an hour for jas and vonne. a bit no mood coz i realli could hav used the time to study instead of travelling around and waiting.den jas had a realli bad headache which turned out to be migraine.i was right to tell her tt. coz i knew xinyi have dis prob too. den decided to acc her to 24 hr clinic to c doc. she looked very much in pain.take care ah, jas.so finally met up wif the rest at cck. decided to head for kbox at cck since jas still not realli feeling well. though she was better. sang and sang till 6 plus.in the middle, lured carol to toilet and they prepared the 5 small pieces of cake for her. den sang b'dae song and shared all the cakes. left for foodcourt and ignored carol's pleas to eat pepper lunch.wanted to start the game of "LOO-LOO POLY" first.since i had to leave soon too. in the end i nvr even played coz i had to leave. so sad. but realli prould of the loo-loo poly we made. though it was not as good as those outside, but we realli spent a lot of time and effort doing. sacrifice our study time lehx. but karen did the most la. realli enjoyed todae! felt so relaxed.i nvr even thought of studying and just played around till it was time to leave. meet up real soon again, kgang! 5 yrs plus of friendship, hope we will maintain dis way in the future.






shit.haven finish up hmwk for tml's tutorial.arghxx.

first thing in the morn went mandai crematorium wif mummy and auntie. zhihong send us dere. we were sort of late and they were waiting for us.feel so bad.i told my grandparents tt i wanted to go to uni badly, and i wanted to hav lots of money, so tt i wun hav to fret over money everydae. i told them them they had to bless me. and tt i realli miss them.i wun cry anymore, coz the feeling is not as bad as tt vivid dae. though i was a bit teary. a bit onli.coz i still couldn't forget how they both left. anger's dad was oso dere and den we met up wif ah shan jie jie and xavier at another temple. so we left and reached hm bout 11 plus.and i was so tired tt i wanted to slp but my sis kp disturbing me.playing the piano so loudly and screaming and yelling.jolted me up frm my slp.and it was so hot tt i dun tink i realli slpt. but in the end i had to woke up coz meeting karen at lot 1. thought of a few more ideas and den i had to leave for home coz i had to accompany my dear sis who was too scared to stay at hm alone. i'm like a nanny.i'm waiting for the dae when she will be independent and not rely on us anymore. at least a few more yrs i tink. bought old chang kee for her coz she pestered me to. now i'm back home and was supposed to finish up what i had to do but here i am blogging. and i nvr touch any of my books todae. shit man. dis is how i'm gonna while away my precious time. back to work.

went jurong wif my dearest ah ma to fix her teeth. finally aft two hrs plus plus it was done.first time i saw someone making fake tooths. and its like whole row of it. using acrylic somthg. and when he first inserted it into my ah ma's mouth, it was damn painful, i could feel it.coz my ah ma was oso scowling in pain.and the part which was to be stuck to her gums was uneven and jagged.imagine how painful tt would be. but the uncle tok non-stop la.sae i kp por-ing my ah ma which i nvr.i realli lurve my ah ma.coz she realli treat us so well and lurve us too. and she's getting old.trying to treasure the times tgt.i'm trying to plan a holidae on cruise for my whole family. but i dun hav money! maybe aft A levels i'm gonna work hard and earn more money and bring my whole family on a hol.i noe i'm sort of neglecting my family relationship wif my family coz of studies.but i hav no choice.i dun hav time to go visit my ah ma, or even go out wif my family.all i'm doing is out in the lib wif frens mugging. i seriously hav no life at all.


i knew it.i knew tt you would be unhappie over it. but when i asked, you sae no. so i didn't wan to probe further when u kp denying.so nvr mind.i oso regret going to vietnam.too bad its too late to opt out.hais.shouldn't have decided to go.den u would be in the same room as xinyi.anyway, i dun realli tink we will benefit frm tt trip.its more of history den econs.somemore i nd more time to study for my prelims. i guess i was just too stressed these few days.though i tried hard to study, but i still absorb fully wad i hav learnt. i studied just for the sake of studying. shit me. i'm not gonna benefit if i continue like dis. so went sch todae for chem lecture. and i can't believe tt i forgot everything bout ionic equilibrium which was learnt dis yr. and wif all the various topics tt i don't even noe at all frm last yr tt i hav to complete studying dis hols.i am not ever going to make it.and i spend like 4 days on maths which was futile coz i dun rmb all the formulas or techniques.
forget it.hais.so i met up wif karen to do smthg.haahs.secret.spend the whole dae in the library trying to finish up but couldn't. and the stupid librarians kp disturbing us.first the woman den the man.all so weird. pls la.if we can't tok in a library are we supposed to be a mute. and who says we can't do ~ in a lib. angry like shit. den we saw a cute huge dino.hahas.i told karen i felt like hugging it. tink he heard me and said bye to us.so cute.:)freezing cold inside.gonna rmb to bring a jacket nxt time.

went woodlands lib to study wif mavis. saw weixing.oso heading dere.hahas..can't believe all of us slackers are sacrificing so much just to study.prelims and A levels are so damn scary.todae is considered the first session of mugging period. studied frm 10 plus till 1 den went civis mac to hav lunch.and study dere at the same time till 6 plus.but i onli managed to complete a few qns of my integration tutorial and tys.and a lot of them i couldn't do it.so sad la. later gonna finish up the qns and start wif chem reaction kinetics.hopefully i can. but i dun tink so.hais. den one very cute boy sitting beside us kp disturbing.hahas.kp playing wif his toy and den teased me and sae i dun hav.aahas.so childish.den another boy kp touching my hair when i took bus 300 home.chubby la.so when i turned back he quickly turned away.so CUTE.hahas.can't wait for my twin cousins to be born.hahas.

and i dunno whether i'm out of choir yet.the teachers dun allow me to quit.i seriously cannot commit time to choir.i alrdy hav a tight schedule and i hav to go vitenam for one wk.so left wif three wks. and den i cfm wun study everydae for the 3 wks. so time is realli running out. the teachers alrdy allow mavis to be out.but i dun tink they will allow me.coz i dun hav any suitable reason at all. and i nvr even go for any prac or rehearsal for dis whole wk except mon.tink they realli hav a bad impression on me tt i purposely pon. nvr mind.i alrdy set my mind not to go le. and mavis when they kp scolding you you shld retaliate and scold back ma.they always bully ppl de. must be stronger.and sorry i nvr pei u.coz i realli hate doing somthg ppl force me to. arghx.

these two days were supposed to be mugging hard like shit.but i screwed my planned plan. shld hav completed revising integration tutorial,tys qnsyest, and todae start on a topic for chem.but then i spend all my time watching tv and day-dreaming away.nvr go sch these two days. dun wanna state the reason.nowadays wad i blog must be discrete.coz we dun even hav our own space or privacy on our blog.

going vietnam soon.i dun wan to.coz i noe i wun enjoy and wun hav enuff time to study. but no choice.hais.i dunno why i feel so down too.in low spirits all the time. damn irritating.

but of course i hope the holidays wun end so fast. i am still not prepared for prelims and A levels. i hav alrdy decided tt if i dun get into a uni, maybe i'll go overseas to study or private uni.

i am going to flunk my GP prelim. the essay is alright but tt doesn't mean i can pass. just hope i wun fail too badly. the compre is so tough la! dun understand passage and qns. copy and paste frm passage for summary.and AQ crapped a bit bout singapore.die die.how not to fail.

stupid sports dae aft GP paper.i can't even go home and slp.so kel,mavis and me went causeway.they ate at yoshi.i'm saving up so not eating.ate onli one curry puff todae. and i have to last till 8 pm.luckily my stomach didn't grumble.walked around. stayed in popular for quite a long time.looked at baby stuff.coz i'm so looking forward to the birth of my TWIN COUSINS! finally got babies for me to look aft. and its coincidentally aft my 'A' level. haahs.dun envy me mavis. decided maybe to get fairytale books, or the disney baby pooh jewellery collection.the anklet looks nice. but quite ex.or maybe buy clothes or soft toy for them? so damn happy.wait till they are born den i decide wad to get.meanwhile save more money.

sports dae started at 3 plus.normal events.den all the other invited schs ran, and they were damn fast! of course the sports sch won. but realli not bad all of them. special events like teachers running. MS GOH is super pro.she is ex badminton player, netball player and can run super fast too. no wonder she walks so fast. and of course her department won. the tug of war was funny too.a lot of ppl got dragged in the mud.cheerleading for SAGGITARIUS. xinying danced damn well.we were sec in the cheerleading competition but 3rd overall. ended at 7 plus.first time everyone was so enthu singing the sch song. so loud and clear.quite touching coz its our last yr of sports dae.and cassandra has been a realli good housemaster.

choir aft tt.feeling so tired but no choice still hav to go.ended at 8.30 and we still hav to go for prac tml.i seriously wonder how i am going to find time to study. its too much of my time taken up. and college dae we are supposed to sing again> i hate performing.esp in front of j2s.so embarrassing.

earli leave yest..skipped sch todae.coz i was sick.always b4 exam i'm like tt..die, sure affect my GP exam lor. i dun wan to fail.:(

i seriously hate sch like shit.
still in a dilemma about 2moro.shld i go sch??
i haven even prepared for my econs and chem test.gonna flunk them and i hav to retake 2 chem tests again. plus i got back my econs.i got 9/25. pathetic.& mr how didn't mark my evaluation and he stated tt i didn't evaluate.duh.
all my tests realli bad la.maths oso failed when everyone scored.so demoralising.
wonder how i am ever going to fight for a place in uni.when everyone is like improving and i'm the onli one dropping.
tt feeling is so unbearable.arghxxx.
and now i'm still blogging when i'm supposed to be mugging for the tests 2moro.


oh, and i'm quite pissed wif what jacintha has done.she make me feel downright embarrassed.

STUPID BLOGGER!!! MY POST WAS NOT PUBLISHED LA..REWRITE...

FINE! everything is my fault lor.happy? whatever i do cannot please you. parents normally wan their children to study hard and its their priority. but mine? my priority is to help you out by fetching my sis and sacrificing my study time.. and when i sae i wanna study coz i feel tt i can't seem to score, u nvr even encourage me to do so but instead scolded me not to use studying as an excuse.. u noe for sure i can't study at home wif the noisy environment, and sometimes after sch i wan to study at library.. but i have to go and fetch her and aft tt i watch tv and slack.. which i dun wan to. but i can't control! i am alrdy trying hard to prove to you tt i can make it.. but its realli demoralising and discouraging at times..i just feel like giving up! its not tt i dun have any probs okay, i just prefer not to voice it out so tt i wun affect everyone's mood.. i kp it in my heart and pretended everything was fine.. den when i ask you for money u said "why must i give you money?" what did i do to deserve tt.. i admit tt i throw tantrums and is bad-tempered.. but i am alrdy trying hard to save money coz i noe i spend a lot.. and i only took $10 frm you dis whole wk including weekends.. who in the earth gets $10 a wk and survives? none! and i spend $5 on my ezlink.. luckily xy brought bread for me. u seriously dun understand me at all. i noe you all hate my "black black" face everytime.. but its always just tt i'm very stressed and tired so i'm like tt..you think i wan to be like tt? i dun hav a choice. arghxxx!!!!!

WHY WHY WHY???

SOMETIMES I JUST FEEL LIKE SKIPPING SCH AND SLEEPING IN. WHO CARES BOUT SCH ANW.

i kinda lurve PE now..coz we get to play lots of diff games.. realli fun..we played frisbee on mon wif another class.. FUN!! they got more guys and we got more gurls.. of course we lost in the end..but the ppl were very friendly.. better den tt class ba.. all so unfriendly..luckily thurs we nvr played wif them.. and i enjoyed softball too.. :) dis wk was supposed to take 2 tests, 1 mock exam.. but econs postponed to nxt wk.. phew, saved me la.i dun even hav time to study a page of it.. so left wif chem and lit. screwed up both la. shit. crapping all the way.. shall c the results.

danny is ~.. he keeps tricking me la. create another acct and posed as his bro but actually was him..i dun believe he has a bro lor. wad is he trying to do..still msg me some crap msg.. asking whether i was derrick and tt HE was judy..weird rite..



should i go for the performance on tues? embarrassing..

i HATE going to sch!!@! tests and more tests to take, more and more assignments to complete.. i dun even hav enuff time for revision.. and we got our prelim timetable todae.. stressing and pressuring me even more.. and the thought of nxt tue when i hav to go on stage to sing choir songs for the J1s is making me jittery.. i seriously dun feel like embarrassing myself la.. arghxxx.. i think we will bore the audience lor.. wif the super interesting SAF choir b4 our turn.. how how?

todae's lesson was quite okay..at least i didn't felt tt tired.. and i tried to listen attentively.. hahas..gp lesson we were like flooding mr yip wif questions.. dunno why we were talking bout globalisation, den suddenly talked bout his age, whether he had girlfrens and stuff..so hilarious.. wif elizabeth crapping jokes too.. and the weather is starting to be so unbearable.. HOT HOT HOT!!

sat went study wif karen and xiaowei.. the managers kp chasing us out la.. as if we are the onli one studying dere.. but we ignored them and continued to study.. hahas..
but i nvr study much.i juz completed my lit mlg and den a few p & c qns.. den went back hm slack and watch tv!

sun went malaysia wif family.. the food dere is cheap and nice la.. den shopped around at holidae plaza.. wanted to buy a belt but mum sae no use and ex..but its realli nice.. den wanted to buy tops and shoes..but in the end, they kp walking off without waiting for us..so we couldn't even try out wad we wanted.. onli bought a pair of earrings and ~..ate seafood at some food market dere.. bbq stingray, crabs,prawns,and others..they even treat us to coconut pudding! damn nice la.. hahas.. though i nvr got to shop for wad i wanted, but still i enjoyed it..

went yew tee mac study wif karen and vonne.. onli did my lit hmwk again.. and did a bit of chem tutorial.. so difficult lor..i can't do.. saw norvin, justin and brandon.. so long nvr see them le.. haahs..shocked..

sian..the first thing they called home to ask was whether my bro had eaten not..am i invisible or transparent? nvr even ask me whether i wanna eat not lor..its obvious they lurve my bro more.. :(